Day 8 or 9
Taking a break from blogging makes you forget what day you're on in the fast...
It's been a roller coaster of emotions. One day I'll be excited, energized and encouraged, then the next, I'll feel defeated. Today was one of those days. Jason has been a huge help. He's so supportive and comforting. I don't know what I would do without him. It's still hard to get out of the funk...
My friend from college, who has messaged me out of the blue, has been given me many words of encouragement and wisdom. I know God is using her. She keeps saying things that I've heard before, meaning God is knocking me over the head with them and I'm not listening well enough. In Daniel 9, Gabriel came to Daniel and said "as soon as you began to pray an answer was given, which I have come to tell you, for you are highly esteemed.- Daniel 9:22. My friend gave this scripture to me to read. The following thoughts have been inspired from her.
Gods finds us esteemed and worthy when we are seeking his will.He answers all our prayers, but it's up to us to listen. It's probably not the answer we're looking for or expecting. In James it says (paraphrased) that is you ask for wisdom, you will get it, but your faith must not waiver.
On Sunday, Pastor Sam told us that we need to see God's heart and his presence, not his hands working miracles. This has been my problem. I was waiting for this huge "Ah-ha" moment where a job would present itself, or I would all of a sudden know what God wanted of me. I was waiting for his hands to create fireworks and not running after his heart! Big whoops.... As soon as Pastor Sam started saying this I knew God was using him to send a message to me. It was amazing to have a huge wake-up call that felt so personal. I'm constantly checking myself to make sure I am on the right track. Instead of what job God wants me to have, I'm asking where he wants me to do his work. I got an answer pretty fast. It was laid upon my heart to start doing a ministry with my Mom's youth group up north. She's always been really involved with the youth and I am really close to them too. Even the guys started going to Jason for guy advice. God told me that we need to get more involved in person rather than over the phone or text. When I started telling Jason what God had laid on my heart he goes "Wouldn't it be awesome to have a lock-in with those kids and just have a time to reconnect the with God?" I hadn't even mentioned lock- in, but it was exactly what my mom and I had talked about.
Jason and I (with the help of my mom) are now trying to plan a weekend "camp-in" at the church with the kids. We are going to have worship, talks, small groups, journaling, questions, games, food (community dinners where everyone brings one ingredient and Jason and the kids have to use all of them to make one meal), activities, and outings. We are so excited about it. We want it to be weekend long so they have plenty of time to answer any questions and get quality time with God.
It's amazing how God is working, even if it is slowly. It's in his time. I love feeling God near me after my quiet time and then to see how he helps me through the day. It makes it such a brighter day!
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