Wow... So much has changed... I can't believe we're going to be parents!
These are the memories I want to remember during my special adventure to Mommyhood. What a wonderful place, I've heard.
11 weeks being pregnant. It's been a journey so far. I had a feeling that I was from the get-go but I kept trying to convince myself that I was freaking myself out and that there was nothing to worry about. Then symptoms started popping up... After a while I couldn't take it anymore. While I was down at Sarah and Ryan's, she decided that I NEEDED to take a pregnancy test.
I couldn't do it... There was no way I was peeing on a stick and waiting for a plus or minus sign and trying to figure out my feelings in the meantime. I couldn't do it. So what does any good sister do? She decides she'll take it for me. All I needed to provide was the liquid. So I grabbed a dixie cup...
45 long seconds later we found out we were going to be parents! Woah, 45 seconds is a short time to find out something so life changing. I immediately started crying. I couldn't believe I was old enough for this and that soon enough I was going to have something just as sweet as the children already in my life. My big sister ran to me, hugged me and then threw me in the arms of Jason (who had been dancing and jumping... He doesn't have to push a watermelon through a Twizzlers). We were both dizzy from feeling every emotion know to our brain neurons.
We told parents and close friends. We knew we needed to keep quite just because of how early I was in the pregnancy. I felt like the more people I told, the more I was jinxing myself. I kept worrying that it was a fluke or something bad was going to happen. I was almost convincing myself not to get attached to the idea too much because it might not last. It was a horrible feeling. When I would take a bath, I would put my ears underwater to try to see if I could somehow hear the baby's heartbeat. I just needed something to make it real. Definite real.
What did give me comfort, ironically enough, was how nauseous I was. Man, anything would set me off. Smells (and boy did I turn on spidey-senses for smells..), thoughts of food (especially bacon and BLT's..ugh I still can't take it), and strangely enough, crocheting. I couldn't crochet! I was talking to a friend and we figured out that it was association. I got nauseous one time I was crocheting and sub-consciously I would remember that every time I thought of crocheting. Even T.V shows and photo editing did that to me. No one told me these things! I still can't crochet... I'm hoping this kid eases up on me... soon.
So far, I've only had a couple meltdowns. I would get so tired I would just cry. I know that it's because of "raging hormones" or whatever, yes that plays a big part, but holy crap... Fatigue was my middle name. I didn't feel like myself. I couldn't do anything. It bugged me. But after I would have a good cry, and a restless nights sleep (yes, restless), I would feel totally better the next day. Now that I'm 11 weeks my energy is coming back up...slowly... and I don't get nauseous AS much, but just as intense. Not only am I almost over the hump of possible danger, I'm getting closer to being done with the sickies.
Can. Not. Wait.
Yesterday, I finally got my answer to prayer. We heard Ace's heartbeat! I went in for my first Dr.'s appt. thinking I was could only talk to a nurse and do the paperwork, when they led me back for my Dr. to come in and do a heart check! She told me if I didn't hear it, not to panic. Sure Doc... She squirted my belly with goo and started moving the stick around. Silence was heard for eternity (= 30-45 seconds), when softly we heard the quick moving whomp-whomping of the blessed little heart. Our Ace's heart. Instant. Flood. Of. Sweet. Relief.
Thank you God.
What a miracle a little whomping can be.
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