Day 16

James chapter 1 has so many good quotes. I don't even know where to begin. I want them all up on my bathroom mirror. 

I'm just going to point out my favorites that jumped out at me. 

"When tempted, no one should say 'God is tempting me.' For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin when it is full-grown, give birth to death."- James 1:13-15

"Every good and perfect gift  is from above, coming down from the father of the heavenly father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."-James 1:17

"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for mans anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." -James 1:19-20

"Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. DO what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it-he will be blessed in what he does." -James 1:22-25

I could go into chapter 2..but it's too much. Another time. 

What do I say about those? They are already so "in-your-face" it's amazing. These are all passages that should be memorized and stuck in our head. 

What is the point unless you do it with the heart to listen and take in what it says to do, then going out and doing it.  Why should we think that just the mere "show" of reading it is good enough for God? He know our heart better than we do. He knows why we are reading it. He doesn't want you to meet with him half-heartedly because we know it's "what we should be doing." Instead we need to desire his word and search for HIS desires for us. We would do that with our boyfriends, spouses, best friends right? 

I know I've been lacking in this. We had a friend come over and he recently received Christ into his heart, and I found him reading the Bible 3 or more times a day. He is so hungry for Gods word and to learn more, but yet he's only a new christian. Why do we sometimes let go of that hunger? Shouldn't we be stronger when we have been seeking Christ longer?? Unfortunately no, because just like it said in verse 13 "each one is tempted when by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin when it is full-grown, give birth to death." We let our worldly desires take over to where we don't hear God as clearly. Luckily though, God allows us to notices (if we are willing and quick enough to listen) to catch this and run back into his arms. 

Day 12

Wow, I am really slacking with this whole blogging bit. I did good the first week. What happened? 

I think I am getting distracted by the world again. I need to get focused back on God. I haven't been having as long of a quiet time. I want to find a good devotion book that I either have, or doesn't cost a lot. Something for me to read that will keep me on track, where I'm not aimlessly reading the Bible. Though, I did read all of Daniel and it was really good. The end was really interesting when it talked about the end times. That's always crazy to learn about. Jason and I read it on the same day and we didn't even talk about it before hand. Coincidence? Maybe I should go back and re-read it in case I missed something God was trying to point out. 

The most frustrating this about this whole process is I have passions that I know God has laid on my heart for me to do. I just don't know how to get to that spot. It's been driving me crazy because why does he want to give me such strong passions that I don't know the way to? I'm hoping for a miracle...

My goal this week is to get back on track. I loved where I was last week, and I haven't fallen back much, but enough. It's easy to fall backwards and harder to pull forward but the reward is so much better. 

Nothing on the job board yet... I have gotten nibbles here and there but nothing sticking. I'm searching constantly and I know God will point it out when it's the right one. I am praying harder for Jason. I know it's driving him nuts that he hasn't found one yet. Why won't anybody hire him? I think he's a catch! And they should see him at home. He organized the coat closet, the pantry, the kitchen and the dining room then managed to straighten the living room, while I worked on the bedroom and it still doesn't look 100%. (It was pretty bad though, I must say...) 

All I can say is I can't wait to get a house. I have so many project and cute decoration ideas and no room to do it! 

It's the thought that counts right? ;)

Day 8 or 9 of fasting

Day 8 or 9

Taking a break from blogging makes you forget what day you're on in the fast... 

It's been a roller coaster of emotions. One day I'll be excited, energized and encouraged, then the next, I'll feel defeated. Today was one of those days. Jason has been a huge help. He's so supportive and comforting. I don't know what I would do without him. It's still hard to get out of the funk... 

My friend from college, who has messaged me out of the blue, has been given me many words of encouragement and wisdom. I know God is using her. She keeps saying things that I've heard before, meaning God is knocking me over the head with them and I'm not listening well enough. In Daniel 9, Gabriel came to Daniel and said "as soon as you began to pray an answer was given, which I have come to tell you, for you are highly esteemed.- Daniel 9:22. My friend gave this scripture to me to read. The following thoughts have been inspired from her. 

Gods finds us esteemed and worthy when we are seeking his will.He answers all our prayers, but it's up to us to listen. It's probably not the answer we're looking for or expecting. In James it says (paraphrased) that is you ask for wisdom, you will get it, but your faith must not waiver. 

On Sunday, Pastor Sam told us that we need to see God's heart and his presence, not his hands working miracles. This has been my problem. I was waiting for this huge "Ah-ha" moment where a job would present itself, or I would all of a sudden know what God wanted of me. I was waiting for his hands to create fireworks and not running after his heart! Big whoops.... As soon as Pastor Sam started saying this I knew God was using him to send a message to me. It was amazing to have a huge wake-up call that felt so personal. I'm constantly checking myself to make sure I am on the right track. Instead of what job God wants me to have, I'm asking where he wants me to do his work.  I got an answer pretty fast. It was laid upon my heart to start doing a ministry with my Mom's youth group up north. She's always been really involved with the youth and I am really close to them too. Even the guys  started going to Jason for guy advice. God told me that we need to get more involved in person rather than over the phone or text.  When I started telling Jason what God had laid on my heart he goes "Wouldn't it be awesome to have a lock-in with those kids and just have a time to reconnect the with God?" I hadn't even mentioned lock- in, but it was exactly what my mom and I had talked about. 

Jason and I (with the help of my mom) are now trying to plan a weekend "camp-in" at the church with the kids. We are going to have worship, talks, small groups, journaling, questions, games, food (community dinners where everyone brings one ingredient and Jason and the kids have to use all of them to make one meal), activities, and outings. We are so excited about it. We want it to be weekend long so they have plenty of time to answer any questions and get quality time with God. 

It's amazing how God is working, even if it is slowly. It's in his time. I love feeling God near me after my quiet time and then to see how he helps me through the day. It makes it such a brighter day! 

Day 6

I am blogging to say that I am taking a day off from blogging. Had a great day with friends that I hadn't seen in forever! It was great fun. They are soon to be married so we were talking all about wedding and honeymoon stuff. It made me miss mine :(
I realized that Jason and I need more mini-honeymoons. No one can ever have too many of those.
Mission for Jason and I: Each month we need to figure out a way to give ourselves a mini honeymoon. Even if it's just a weekend in our apartment and we turn off our phones and had no social networking. But going somewhere would be great too. Heeeeeee.
Maybe this is one of the things God wanted me to see. Need to keep my eyes open with everything!

Awesome quote to think about, “You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.” C.S Lewis.
Jason and I read this the other day and I really liked it. Obviously.. 

Day 5

Day 5 

This is Jason, I have decided it is my time to share what I am learning and thinking through this fast. Today, Kate and I both felt like we were being attacked.. We didn't understand why we were feeling like this since we were trying to fill ourselves with God.. It was discouraging. But we are not alone.

During fasting you can expect to be tempted. This thought is based on Matthew 4 where Jesus is tempted in the desert. Jesus, being already baptized in the holy spirit as a sign to men, had John the Baptist baptize him in water. He then went into the desert to fast for 40 days. He was greatly tempted by Satan. Jesus' answer to Satan was quick, sharp scripture references and rebukes. Shortly after Jesus' fast, he learned that John the Baptist was imprisoned. These events kicked started Jesus' immense ministry. This leads me to believe that likewise, we will not only face temptations from Satan, but also, situations that will discourage us. We must not focus on situations, but focus on Christ and the life he set for us. When you fast, you are waging war on Satan and Hell. It's natural to expect repercussions and as a result through the trials and temptations, if you keep your focus on Christ, your ministry will explode and take off, just like Christ's. 

Isn't he amazing? That's why I married him :) 

As he said, we felt attacked. I broke down and started crying because I didn't understand why I was feeling like this. I felt useless and unmotivated. I even put off my morning time with God, which was a first during this fast. I had been waking up and excited about the time I was going to have with him. Instead, I felt frustrated. I should've taken it as a sign that I really needed that time with him, but I ignored it. I put it off till 6 pm. Now, I've learned that if I feel that way, to just turn to Psalms. More often then not they have answers or encouraging words through beautiful songs. I'm beating this into my head... I opened up my Bible to it really. I knew I wanted to go to Psalms and I flipped to the first one I saw. Chapter 42. Totally what  needed to hear, as usual. God always knows.. It read "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my savior, my God." 

Another beautiful that spoke to me was verse eight. "By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me- a prayer to the God of my life."

Verses that find me make me wonder why I ever doubt him, why I feel the need to worry. He has everything under control.  He always will. This is obviously still a lesson I need practice on. I'm so thankful He continuously reminds me. 

Day Four of Daniel Fast (First full day of eating)

Day 4 of fasting 

I overslept this morning.. My phone died in the middle of the night, turning off my alarm clock.. I only love oversleeping when I haven't done it in a while, I have nothing going on the next day, or I'm sick.  I guess my body needed it.. It's been fighting the stupid cough for 4 weeks now.. Whatever. 

So today has been a little off. This will probably be a short note. I read more of Daniel and his wisdom. It's amazing what God did back then. Like, how he revealed himself. I read about the writing on the wall, when the King was drinking wine from stolen goblets from Jerusalem and God wrote on the wall with a "floating hand". Daniel had to come and interpret it. It basically said the King was going to fall (die). And that same night, he did. 

Why doesn't God do more stuff like that now? Maybe he is and we're not listening or watching? Maybe he knows that even if he did, there are too many unbelievers or doubters that they wouldn't believe it anyways. I wish I had the wisdom that Daniel had. To be able to interpret dreams and messages would be exhilarating, but obviously come with a price. 

End of Day 4

We had Mikey and Nikki over tonight and we played  Kinect sports. I wanted to get a work out in today. It totally counts... It was great to fellowship with friends. We had Daniel friendly stir-fry. Delicious.. 

I'm hoping tomorrow is a better day... maybe not sleeping in till half the day is gone.. Yea that would be great..

Day 3 of Daniel Fast (really day one)

Day Three of Fasting

I woke up this morning much more refreshed than yesterday morning. I think the juice from last night helped. I'm glad we made that decision. I didn't want to be gloomy and not be motivated while fasting. Obviously, God is helping too. I don't think we would be doing half the things we are doing without Him.  

Today I read Daniel 1-4. I decided since I'm doing his fast I better remind myself of his stories. 

Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were all picked up from Judah by King Nebuchadnezzer. They were to be trained for three years to become his advisors.  The king set up food and wine for them but they told Ashpenaz (chief of officials) that they were only to eat and drink vegetables and water. Ashpenaz said he was too afraid to tell them king, so the 4 men told him they would go on the diet (fast) for 10 days and if they looked better and were more nourished than the other men that they would be allowed to continue. Ashpenaz agreed. After 10 days they were proven right. They were able to stay on the diet. For this, God gave them wisdom far greater than any of the other men there. King Nebuchadnezzer found them 10 times better than any sorcerer or magician in his court.  

When the King had a dream he called magicians to come and tell the dream to him and interpret it. They told him they could not, that no man on earth could do that. Only gods could tell of dreams.  The King became furious and ordered all the magicians and advisors killed. (This included Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.) Daniel heard of this and prayed and praised God to give him the dream so he might interpret it for the King. God granted his prayer and Daniel went to the King. Daniel said that there was no magician or sorcerer on earth that could interpret dreams, but his God could and he was able to tell of the dream.  After hearing the interpretations the King was so astonished and amazed that he gave Daniel gifts and promoted him to oversee all of Babylon. 

Since Daniel was so faithful, God knew he was able to work through him. In return for his faithfulness God had been able to put him into a position that gave him great power and many blessings. And it all started with Daniel's fast. 

The book of Daniel is interesting and fun to read. The stories in it are awesome and easy. The dreams are vivid and to hear the interpretations are crazy, but spot on, since all of them came true. 

Again, an inspiring story to read while doing the fast. It allows me to remind myself of other peoples hardships and how they overcame it because of their faith in God.

End of Day 3

WE MADE IT! We went three days without food. At midnight on the fourth night, Jason and I had our first bites of food in three days. It tasted amazing! What made it taste even better was the fact that we completed a sacrifice to God. And quite well if I do say so. I felt great all throughout the day. I thought today was going to be the hardest, and it was actually the easiest. I felt like I could go a couple more days. Jason, on the other hand, had the worst day. I felt so badly for him. He wanted to eat so much, he was counting down until midnight. He was trying to distract himself with prayer and other things, but was consumed with the idea of food. I knew I couldn't make him go another day... even if I thought I could. Plus, he loves being in the kitchen and we had been avoiding that room like the plague. 

So we sat down to eat. I made home-made hummus and cut up cucumbers to dip, and baked potato with NO BUTTER! We used Zoye, which is a soy bean oil. Tastes much better than olive and still just as healthy. We have been researching the do's and don'ts of the Daniel fast and I think with Jason's creativeness in the kitchen, it's going to be much easier than I originally thought... But I will still miss my Mac&cheese...

Tonight we were reading another chapter of Crazy Love. Francis Chan said "Having faith means doing what others see as crazy. Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers." It was a true testament to me and Jason in context with this fast. We've felt  like we were doing the right thing, but the closer and closer it got to our first deadline, it seemed crazier and crazier. It's not only hard to just do it, but it's hard to let other people in to see where we're vulnerable. But God talks to us the most, and loudest when we are vulnerable and raw. What are we so afraid of? Why are we afraid of being different? Why do we not speak out in our faith more to random strangers? They will be gone in a minute and chances are we'll never see them again.  Maybe more often than not, a good introspective look is required to keep our hearts on track. 

Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers.

Day 2 of Daniel Fast

Start of Day 2 of Fasting

We made it through the night of day 1!! I thought I would be awake till 6 am craving weird things.. But I wore myself out and fell right to sleep.  No dreams about food yet, but I guess Jason had a dream that he forgot he was fasting and had a bite of pizza and realized what he had done and spit it out. Hahahaha  poor guy :) 

I woke up this morning feel so weak. Not only did I not want to wake up, but when I stood my legs felt a little shaky. I just need to drink more water. Plus, this is what we wanted. We want to break our bodies so we can be vulnerable to what God wants. We become alert without the body-satisfying distractions of food. 

Yesterday went better than I thought it would. I'm keeping my hopes up for today. What we lacked yesterday was time of prayer. We did have some, but I don't think it was enough. My goal for today is keeping my spirits up (not getting grumpy), and spending more time in prayer with God. If I don't I will get nothing out of this. 

Today I read Isaiah 58, Matthew 8,9 and 10.  In Isaiah it talked about "true fasting" If we get angry and raise our fists, through out nasty, bitter words during and because of our fast, we gain nothing. If we do not constantly think about how we need to change and how to change/ cut it out, we gain nothing. If we seek to change, do not get angry, do not use bitter words and "satisfy the needs of the oppressed", God will guide us. "The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy you needs in a sun-scorched land, and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." - Isaiah 58:11

We will be blessed! He will keep us strong if we depend on him! 

Matthew 8,9 and 10 were about when Jesus went around preforming miracles. To read about how people had faith and put their faith in Him to heal them, and  their prayers were answered was great to read. I had read them before and knew the stories but since J and I are putting our faith in God, it's once again, encouraging to hear victorious an uplifting stories. 

End of Day 2

We made it through another day! I'm feeling really good. Jason and I had only been doing water for the past two days and around midnight tonight we decided that we needed juice. We had felt so weak all day and our stomachs were constantly growling. We hadn't been drinking a lot of water because we were sick of the lack of taste. I personally was afraid of dehydration. Also, everytime I went to stand up I almost blacked out haha. My blood sugar has always been low. It was time to put a little help into our systems. We have also decided that we are staying up until midnight tomorrow night so we can have our first Daniel fast snack. I've been making lists of grocery items we need, and what we can make. Everything sounds delicious. I was even dreaming about a potato with honey on it and wondering if it tasted the same as dipping french fries in honey. I started craving it.. One of the things I've learned while on this fast that the thought of the taste of food becomes so vivid it blows my mind away. I've been thinking about food that I haven't had in years, and I feel like I could actually taste it. The mind does crazy things.  

I am constantly astonished on how well J and my attitude is doing. It has to be a God thing, because I get a little irritated if I don't have food for half a day. We haven't fought once. I was in the shower and we had run out of soap. I was already feeling weak and I started getting frustrated that I did not have soap. I tried calling Jason but I couldn't call loud enough until the third try. I thought my attitude was going to turn sour... All of a sudden a wave came over me. I started laughing and smiling and I felt great! I felt so happy and uplifted and was giggling over the fact that I almost got so mad that I didn't have any soap in the shower. Earlier that day I prayed that God would hold us up and not allow us to get grumpy and keep reminding us why we were doing this. Even though laughing in the shower was a tiny gesture on his part, it restored my hope that God was really next to us and guiding us. That experience will hold tightly to me as a note of how to be in the future. Don't get frustrated at little things. They are not worth it. Laugh about it instead. It makes you feel 1,000 times better anyway.

That's all for the night. On to the last stretch of pure liquids.. Only one more day till food! 

Day 1 of Daniel Fast

Start of Day 1 of Fasting:

This morning I got up and immediately opened my bible. I know that I needed to start out with God by my side. I decided to read 2 Chronicles 20 because Pastor Sam was talking about during his sermon.  What an amazing read! It was a great way to kick off a fast. 

Jehoshapet was the ruler over Judah. He received news that there were armies coming to attack and ambush them. He had all of Judah fast and pray for guidance. The people that were attacking were on the no-no list to fight with. God told them to go out and march against them the next day. Jehosaphet set up men to sing and praise God for he knew they would be delivered. When the men started praising and singing to God, the armies started ambushing themselves and came down to destroying each other. When Judah walked came up to the Pass where the armies should've been, all that was left was dead bodies. God had delivered them without one fatality on Judah! What was even better was when they returned (there was an inheritance from God unto Judah that the armies were after) but among the inheritance was equipment, clothes and valuables, enough for them to have to collect it for 3 days! Not only were the blessed to be saved from the attacks but God gave them blessings for the taking. 

One word: Inspirational. If God can do that for Jehoshaphet and Judah, I'm thinking Jason and my guidance for 2011 will be a cake walk haha. 

So lets talk about the fast shall we? 

In consists of 21 days.

For the first three days Jason and I will be on a water and (maybe) juice fast. We want to break our bodies and be completely devoted and vulnerable to what God wants. (I hope vulnerable is the right word lol) After that we will be on a Daniel fast  for the remaining 21 days.  The Daniel fast is food that comes from a seed. No meat, no bread, no sweets. Only fruits, veggies and I believe nuts are okay, with water and juice to drink. 

I am so excited to have this time, to allow my body to rid itself of waste and put in wholesome goodness (spiritually and physically). I am nervous that I will want to break down or worse that I will break down. I have to believe that I won't. I am doing this for God. 

For our relationship. 

For guidance and wisdom. 

I will defeat the enemy. 

I know I will need encouragement. God knows it too. So much, that when I hopped on Facebook, a friend that I haven't talked to in a couple years messaged me and encouraged me for this decision. She and her family do the Daniel Fast every year and they too draw close to God and are awakened spiritually. Even before I began, God knew what I needed! I know I will be blessed during this time, and for this time, I will be blessed. 

Middle of Day 1:

I'm getting hungrier and hungrier.. I've been trying to drink water and it helps for a while. It's weird to get used to not being able to eat. My stomach will rumble and I'll be like "what should I have" then I realize.... not gonna happen.. ugh.. Day 1 half way done. 

End of Day 1:

Well we made it! First day down! I feel really good actually. I kept thinking about how I was doing to for God, not for me, which helped. What also helped, on the humorous side, was when I read that hunger pains are your body using the fat stored up. Whenever I felt one come on I laughed at the cells and drank my water. I told Jason that I was jealous because I bet he doesn't get any hunger pains....Skinny cow... 

We will see how tonight goes when I am lying in bed dreaming of my mac and cheese. I think I'm going to pick out a bible verse to repeat whenever I get a vision of pasta.

Pre Daniel Fast Memories

Today at church Pastor Sam was talking about fasting for the year 2011. He was saying for us to fast to see what God wants to direct us this year. It really spoke to my heart because at this time, Jason and I are unemployed and not knowing where God wants us to end up. We both have dreams of what we want to do, but unsure of how to go about them. Jason's dream is to open up his own business of being personal chef, going into peoples homes to make and freeze dinners for them for the coming week(s). I think he would be great at it and very successful. He has tons of information about it but doesn't have the revenue to start it up (which isn't much). My dream is to open a coffee/ tea shop and have special features like tea/coffee tastings, and tea/coffee pairings, along with pastries. Something simple but fun where I can interact with various people and give them a quiet, but fun, place to go.  God has put a passion for this in my heart about 6 months ago and I can't stop thinking about it. But of course, start up for that is extremely expensive, which we definitely don't have the money for.
I also want to pursue my photography even more but I'm afraid of the next step. My photos are my babies and if they got rejected, I would feel rejected. I need to step out in faith and just get it done.

See why a fast is such a good idea??

What caught my attention even more was when he said "Fasting focuses our hunger on God". For the past couple of days I have been thinking about a passage I read in "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. He was talking about his wife's grandmother. She was so incredibly in love with God that just the sight of where she has her quiet time with God brought tears to her eyes because of the anticipation and excitement for meeting with him there the next day. How many of us actually cry and get that excited over our quiet time with God as is he was an actual person? I want to focus and grow my love for him so I can feel the same way as I have felt about seeing my husband.  What a perfect love!

I have never done a fast before but I am hoping that through journaling, reading the Bible, spending time with God instead of eating junk food haha, and putting faith in the fact that I can actually do it FOR HIM  will hopefully get me through it.
Wish me luck! I'm going to need it... My tummy will be screaming mac and cheese 5 hours into the fast...

New Years 2011 Memories!

What a night last night! Jason and I opted out of going downtown Grand Rapids to see a free concert of Good Charlotte (seriously, tough decision) to stay home and spend quality time together. We went to Meijer to get some nummies to munch on when the turn of the year came. We brought it in in style. We had Texas Toast garlic bread (a running tradition we've had going on), pigs in a blanket (one of my favorites), Jarlsburg cheese dip, bananas, Oreos for desert (about 2 were consumed between the two of us), and Raza Dolce Champagne (really sparkling wine but equivalent to champagne).  We called it our night of hor d'oeurves.

We were FINALLY  able to watch T.V on our T.V. We have been going without television for about 2 years. We have a t.v but only watch DVD's and Hulu. We have not found the need to have regular television on in our house since there's so much junk on it. But we wanted to see the ball drop and since my Sarah (my sister) and Ryan (her hub) gave us a digital converter box and antenna's for christmas we decided why the heck not.

What made the night was that Jason and I  have only spent one new years together over the 4 year span we've been a couple. We were finally able to spend it as husband and wife and get our New Years kiss without anybody around. We love being around friends and family but I think everybody should get a New Years where it's just them and their special someone :)

So today on 1-1-11, we will be relaxing (once again), going to finally print off our wedding pictures, and maybe finish up the last of the hor d'eourves.

After the new year we will be fervently shopping for jobs...
God is Good!!