Day 16

James chapter 1 has so many good quotes. I don't even know where to begin. I want them all up on my bathroom mirror. 

I'm just going to point out my favorites that jumped out at me. 

"When tempted, no one should say 'God is tempting me.' For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin when it is full-grown, give birth to death."- James 1:13-15

"Every good and perfect gift  is from above, coming down from the father of the heavenly father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."-James 1:17

"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for mans anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." -James 1:19-20

"Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. DO what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it-he will be blessed in what he does." -James 1:22-25

I could go into chapter 2..but it's too much. Another time. 

What do I say about those? They are already so "in-your-face" it's amazing. These are all passages that should be memorized and stuck in our head. 

What is the point unless you do it with the heart to listen and take in what it says to do, then going out and doing it.  Why should we think that just the mere "show" of reading it is good enough for God? He know our heart better than we do. He knows why we are reading it. He doesn't want you to meet with him half-heartedly because we know it's "what we should be doing." Instead we need to desire his word and search for HIS desires for us. We would do that with our boyfriends, spouses, best friends right? 

I know I've been lacking in this. We had a friend come over and he recently received Christ into his heart, and I found him reading the Bible 3 or more times a day. He is so hungry for Gods word and to learn more, but yet he's only a new christian. Why do we sometimes let go of that hunger? Shouldn't we be stronger when we have been seeking Christ longer?? Unfortunately no, because just like it said in verse 13 "each one is tempted when by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin when it is full-grown, give birth to death." We let our worldly desires take over to where we don't hear God as clearly. Luckily though, God allows us to notices (if we are willing and quick enough to listen) to catch this and run back into his arms. 

Day 12

Wow, I am really slacking with this whole blogging bit. I did good the first week. What happened? 

I think I am getting distracted by the world again. I need to get focused back on God. I haven't been having as long of a quiet time. I want to find a good devotion book that I either have, or doesn't cost a lot. Something for me to read that will keep me on track, where I'm not aimlessly reading the Bible. Though, I did read all of Daniel and it was really good. The end was really interesting when it talked about the end times. That's always crazy to learn about. Jason and I read it on the same day and we didn't even talk about it before hand. Coincidence? Maybe I should go back and re-read it in case I missed something God was trying to point out. 

The most frustrating this about this whole process is I have passions that I know God has laid on my heart for me to do. I just don't know how to get to that spot. It's been driving me crazy because why does he want to give me such strong passions that I don't know the way to? I'm hoping for a miracle...

My goal this week is to get back on track. I loved where I was last week, and I haven't fallen back much, but enough. It's easy to fall backwards and harder to pull forward but the reward is so much better. 

Nothing on the job board yet... I have gotten nibbles here and there but nothing sticking. I'm searching constantly and I know God will point it out when it's the right one. I am praying harder for Jason. I know it's driving him nuts that he hasn't found one yet. Why won't anybody hire him? I think he's a catch! And they should see him at home. He organized the coat closet, the pantry, the kitchen and the dining room then managed to straighten the living room, while I worked on the bedroom and it still doesn't look 100%. (It was pretty bad though, I must say...) 

All I can say is I can't wait to get a house. I have so many project and cute decoration ideas and no room to do it! 

It's the thought that counts right? ;)

Day 8 or 9 of fasting

Day 8 or 9

Taking a break from blogging makes you forget what day you're on in the fast... 

It's been a roller coaster of emotions. One day I'll be excited, energized and encouraged, then the next, I'll feel defeated. Today was one of those days. Jason has been a huge help. He's so supportive and comforting. I don't know what I would do without him. It's still hard to get out of the funk... 

My friend from college, who has messaged me out of the blue, has been given me many words of encouragement and wisdom. I know God is using her. She keeps saying things that I've heard before, meaning God is knocking me over the head with them and I'm not listening well enough. In Daniel 9, Gabriel came to Daniel and said "as soon as you began to pray an answer was given, which I have come to tell you, for you are highly esteemed.- Daniel 9:22. My friend gave this scripture to me to read. The following thoughts have been inspired from her. 

Gods finds us esteemed and worthy when we are seeking his will.He answers all our prayers, but it's up to us to listen. It's probably not the answer we're looking for or expecting. In James it says (paraphrased) that is you ask for wisdom, you will get it, but your faith must not waiver. 

On Sunday, Pastor Sam told us that we need to see God's heart and his presence, not his hands working miracles. This has been my problem. I was waiting for this huge "Ah-ha" moment where a job would present itself, or I would all of a sudden know what God wanted of me. I was waiting for his hands to create fireworks and not running after his heart! Big whoops.... As soon as Pastor Sam started saying this I knew God was using him to send a message to me. It was amazing to have a huge wake-up call that felt so personal. I'm constantly checking myself to make sure I am on the right track. Instead of what job God wants me to have, I'm asking where he wants me to do his work.  I got an answer pretty fast. It was laid upon my heart to start doing a ministry with my Mom's youth group up north. She's always been really involved with the youth and I am really close to them too. Even the guys  started going to Jason for guy advice. God told me that we need to get more involved in person rather than over the phone or text.  When I started telling Jason what God had laid on my heart he goes "Wouldn't it be awesome to have a lock-in with those kids and just have a time to reconnect the with God?" I hadn't even mentioned lock- in, but it was exactly what my mom and I had talked about. 

Jason and I (with the help of my mom) are now trying to plan a weekend "camp-in" at the church with the kids. We are going to have worship, talks, small groups, journaling, questions, games, food (community dinners where everyone brings one ingredient and Jason and the kids have to use all of them to make one meal), activities, and outings. We are so excited about it. We want it to be weekend long so they have plenty of time to answer any questions and get quality time with God. 

It's amazing how God is working, even if it is slowly. It's in his time. I love feeling God near me after my quiet time and then to see how he helps me through the day. It makes it such a brighter day! 

Day 6

I am blogging to say that I am taking a day off from blogging. Had a great day with friends that I hadn't seen in forever! It was great fun. They are soon to be married so we were talking all about wedding and honeymoon stuff. It made me miss mine :(
I realized that Jason and I need more mini-honeymoons. No one can ever have too many of those.
Mission for Jason and I: Each month we need to figure out a way to give ourselves a mini honeymoon. Even if it's just a weekend in our apartment and we turn off our phones and had no social networking. But going somewhere would be great too. Heeeeeee.
Maybe this is one of the things God wanted me to see. Need to keep my eyes open with everything!

Awesome quote to think about, “You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.” C.S Lewis.
Jason and I read this the other day and I really liked it. Obviously.. 

Day 5

Day 5 

This is Jason, I have decided it is my time to share what I am learning and thinking through this fast. Today, Kate and I both felt like we were being attacked.. We didn't understand why we were feeling like this since we were trying to fill ourselves with God.. It was discouraging. But we are not alone.

During fasting you can expect to be tempted. This thought is based on Matthew 4 where Jesus is tempted in the desert. Jesus, being already baptized in the holy spirit as a sign to men, had John the Baptist baptize him in water. He then went into the desert to fast for 40 days. He was greatly tempted by Satan. Jesus' answer to Satan was quick, sharp scripture references and rebukes. Shortly after Jesus' fast, he learned that John the Baptist was imprisoned. These events kicked started Jesus' immense ministry. This leads me to believe that likewise, we will not only face temptations from Satan, but also, situations that will discourage us. We must not focus on situations, but focus on Christ and the life he set for us. When you fast, you are waging war on Satan and Hell. It's natural to expect repercussions and as a result through the trials and temptations, if you keep your focus on Christ, your ministry will explode and take off, just like Christ's. 

Isn't he amazing? That's why I married him :) 

As he said, we felt attacked. I broke down and started crying because I didn't understand why I was feeling like this. I felt useless and unmotivated. I even put off my morning time with God, which was a first during this fast. I had been waking up and excited about the time I was going to have with him. Instead, I felt frustrated. I should've taken it as a sign that I really needed that time with him, but I ignored it. I put it off till 6 pm. Now, I've learned that if I feel that way, to just turn to Psalms. More often then not they have answers or encouraging words through beautiful songs. I'm beating this into my head... I opened up my Bible to it really. I knew I wanted to go to Psalms and I flipped to the first one I saw. Chapter 42. Totally what  needed to hear, as usual. God always knows.. It read "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my savior, my God." 

Another beautiful that spoke to me was verse eight. "By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me- a prayer to the God of my life."

Verses that find me make me wonder why I ever doubt him, why I feel the need to worry. He has everything under control.  He always will. This is obviously still a lesson I need practice on. I'm so thankful He continuously reminds me. 

Day Four of Daniel Fast (First full day of eating)

Day 4 of fasting 

I overslept this morning.. My phone died in the middle of the night, turning off my alarm clock.. I only love oversleeping when I haven't done it in a while, I have nothing going on the next day, or I'm sick.  I guess my body needed it.. It's been fighting the stupid cough for 4 weeks now.. Whatever. 

So today has been a little off. This will probably be a short note. I read more of Daniel and his wisdom. It's amazing what God did back then. Like, how he revealed himself. I read about the writing on the wall, when the King was drinking wine from stolen goblets from Jerusalem and God wrote on the wall with a "floating hand". Daniel had to come and interpret it. It basically said the King was going to fall (die). And that same night, he did. 

Why doesn't God do more stuff like that now? Maybe he is and we're not listening or watching? Maybe he knows that even if he did, there are too many unbelievers or doubters that they wouldn't believe it anyways. I wish I had the wisdom that Daniel had. To be able to interpret dreams and messages would be exhilarating, but obviously come with a price. 

End of Day 4

We had Mikey and Nikki over tonight and we played  Kinect sports. I wanted to get a work out in today. It totally counts... It was great to fellowship with friends. We had Daniel friendly stir-fry. Delicious.. 

I'm hoping tomorrow is a better day... maybe not sleeping in till half the day is gone.. Yea that would be great..

Day 3 of Daniel Fast (really day one)

Day Three of Fasting

I woke up this morning much more refreshed than yesterday morning. I think the juice from last night helped. I'm glad we made that decision. I didn't want to be gloomy and not be motivated while fasting. Obviously, God is helping too. I don't think we would be doing half the things we are doing without Him.  

Today I read Daniel 1-4. I decided since I'm doing his fast I better remind myself of his stories. 

Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were all picked up from Judah by King Nebuchadnezzer. They were to be trained for three years to become his advisors.  The king set up food and wine for them but they told Ashpenaz (chief of officials) that they were only to eat and drink vegetables and water. Ashpenaz said he was too afraid to tell them king, so the 4 men told him they would go on the diet (fast) for 10 days and if they looked better and were more nourished than the other men that they would be allowed to continue. Ashpenaz agreed. After 10 days they were proven right. They were able to stay on the diet. For this, God gave them wisdom far greater than any of the other men there. King Nebuchadnezzer found them 10 times better than any sorcerer or magician in his court.  

When the King had a dream he called magicians to come and tell the dream to him and interpret it. They told him they could not, that no man on earth could do that. Only gods could tell of dreams.  The King became furious and ordered all the magicians and advisors killed. (This included Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.) Daniel heard of this and prayed and praised God to give him the dream so he might interpret it for the King. God granted his prayer and Daniel went to the King. Daniel said that there was no magician or sorcerer on earth that could interpret dreams, but his God could and he was able to tell of the dream.  After hearing the interpretations the King was so astonished and amazed that he gave Daniel gifts and promoted him to oversee all of Babylon. 

Since Daniel was so faithful, God knew he was able to work through him. In return for his faithfulness God had been able to put him into a position that gave him great power and many blessings. And it all started with Daniel's fast. 

The book of Daniel is interesting and fun to read. The stories in it are awesome and easy. The dreams are vivid and to hear the interpretations are crazy, but spot on, since all of them came true. 

Again, an inspiring story to read while doing the fast. It allows me to remind myself of other peoples hardships and how they overcame it because of their faith in God.

End of Day 3

WE MADE IT! We went three days without food. At midnight on the fourth night, Jason and I had our first bites of food in three days. It tasted amazing! What made it taste even better was the fact that we completed a sacrifice to God. And quite well if I do say so. I felt great all throughout the day. I thought today was going to be the hardest, and it was actually the easiest. I felt like I could go a couple more days. Jason, on the other hand, had the worst day. I felt so badly for him. He wanted to eat so much, he was counting down until midnight. He was trying to distract himself with prayer and other things, but was consumed with the idea of food. I knew I couldn't make him go another day... even if I thought I could. Plus, he loves being in the kitchen and we had been avoiding that room like the plague. 

So we sat down to eat. I made home-made hummus and cut up cucumbers to dip, and baked potato with NO BUTTER! We used Zoye, which is a soy bean oil. Tastes much better than olive and still just as healthy. We have been researching the do's and don'ts of the Daniel fast and I think with Jason's creativeness in the kitchen, it's going to be much easier than I originally thought... But I will still miss my Mac&cheese...

Tonight we were reading another chapter of Crazy Love. Francis Chan said "Having faith means doing what others see as crazy. Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers." It was a true testament to me and Jason in context with this fast. We've felt  like we were doing the right thing, but the closer and closer it got to our first deadline, it seemed crazier and crazier. It's not only hard to just do it, but it's hard to let other people in to see where we're vulnerable. But God talks to us the most, and loudest when we are vulnerable and raw. What are we so afraid of? Why are we afraid of being different? Why do we not speak out in our faith more to random strangers? They will be gone in a minute and chances are we'll never see them again.  Maybe more often than not, a good introspective look is required to keep our hearts on track. 

Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers.