McClearen Update- September 2012

Woah. It's already September?? Oh wait, it's still 80˚ outside? I have waved summer goodbye and am welcoming the crisp, cool air to surround me any day now... I am ready to get my hot chocolate, thick p.j's, warm socks, and a heavy blanket on, and cuddle in front of my new fireplace! Whilst, listening to Christmas music (without my husband complaining), and looking at Martha Stewart craft ideas to inspire me for christmas presents. Don't judge. It's a tradition.

So what's new with us? Busyness is our name. Traveling is our game. We have been traveling 2/3 of the summer, and working the other. Could I expect less of us? Since Jason and I have been together (6 years) we have not had one summer where we weren't traveling our pants off. I'm not complaining though. We put it upon ourselves and enjoy our trips. Though this summer it has made it a bit tougher to work on the house. It's not quite as far as what we would like... BUT we have made headway (fingers crossed that it turns out well) with the living room floor! We found out when we went to stain it that the genius' who re-did the floor before decided to go diagonal across the wood panels............  I'm not sure what possessed them to do that, buuut it made for an interesting design when we went to stain. And I have no idea what they put on the floor, but whatever it was sunk into the grain beyond what our sander could get and it was completely blotchy. Needless to say, I was bummed...  It was basically do or die. It would look horrible if we left it, and it might look horrible if we did something. Sooo we tried it again and it looks 100% better. Yay! Just waiting for it to dry.

Kitchen is 80% done! I am just finishing (while little man sleeps) the last of the cupboards and then let the organizing begin! The marble tiled floors look A-mazing. I feel like I'm walking on luxury every time I cross the kitchen. I'm beyond excited to see the finished product. Pictures will be posted.

We are making great memories in our basement though. This has been our residence upon moving in. It is just about as big as our one bedroom apartment. Pretty much used to being cramped... Fun times. The  bare studs, open rafters and kid stained carpet make it extra cozy. I have put up twinkle lights to make give it 5oz of charm.

Little man is doing exceptionally well! We get a great report every time we go into see the Dr.'s. He now weighs over 15.9lbs!! They have all said that we would never be able to tell he has CF if it wasn't for the infant screening program. That kid is about the smiliest baby I have ever seen. He laughs at just about anything, especially if it's Mom and Dad looking completely and embarrassingly ridiculous. He loves Eli too. Whenever Eli comes up to sniff him or give him a kiss on the face he squeals with delight and reaches out to grab a tuff of fur. He is going to be one rambunctious kid and a wizard at getting out of trouble. That little guy already has me wrapped around his chubby little fingers, *sigh* and I love it. I think I might burst with how adorable he is... I may or may not be biased though...


Keep up the prayers and encouragement please!! It is holding our family up!

Thanks all! Love ya and God Bless!!

            Our little Family (minus Eli) at a highway beach stop on our way back from Escanaba

Big Changes with the McClearens

Hopefully it is safe to finally tell people... WE ARE FINALLY GETTING A HOUSE!! After looking since September, putting bids on three different houses, a very long and somewhat painful process, we will be moving out of our rinky-dink one bedroom apartment shortly! We close on the house TOMORROW, and have immediate possession, but we have the apartment till Aug 5th so the TLC process will be commencing henceforth and the moving in date is..?? whenever.

We found this house back in February, were the first on-lookers, and put an offer in the same day. That was a bit hard for me because I didn't have enough time to envision myself living in it. But 1) it was way too good of a deal to NOT put in an offer, 2) there were 4 other perspective buyers coming to look at it the next day, 3) we loved the neighborhood and had been wanting a house desperately there (believe me we did our research on a good resale value market, this was one of the good ones), and 4) I fell in love with two other houses only to have them get swept away from me. So I put it upon myself to not make the same mistake with this one... Catch 22 right there. On one hand, fall in love with it to not have it turn into a reality, or not fall in love with it at all and possibly hate it for all eternity... (or at least until we resell it).

I forgot to mention that it was a short sale... This explains the great deal on it. Piece of advice, if the house is right, short sales are the way to go! Instant equity, which can't be beat (and is hard to find) in this economy. BUT, make sure you have about 6 months to spare before you need to move. We figured since we started in September that would've given us plenty of time to find a house (and not necessarily a short sale) and move in before Jeremiah came and our lease was up. Like I said, we put three other offers down... So technically, it would've been fine. Well, little did we know that the house we found turned out to be in the beginning stages of a short sale... Wah-wah... Needless to say, it didn't go through in time. Am I upset about this? Maybe a little... Do I care anymore? mmm... Not so much. We got a great deal. Frugality is becoming my middle name. Pretty right?

We had THE WORST luck with having a house go through. We had so many weird situations thrown our way, I could probably right a book about it. I gained way more knowledge in real estate than I ever initially wanted. We got really good at looking at houses though. I think we looked at a grand total of around 40. Give or take a few. It was ridiculous. I was cautious in telling people in fear that if I did, God would shut the door. The crazy thing about it was the houses that weren't for us, He allowed the door to be close almost immediately. We were able to move forward, quickly, to the next house.

This last one though was taking forever. It was such a test of faith. From the beginning we prayed that if it wasn't the house that he would promptly end the process, like he did the others. Since the doors weren't closing we figured that was a good sign, but the deadline was coming up on the lease renewal and Jeremiah being born. Um, yes. One might say it was stressful. But we continued to pray and believe that he would show us if it wasn't the house.

Then the sellers bank threw us a curveball. They asked us for $5,000-$8,000 extra to pitch in toward the second mortgage that had been taken out on the house. OK, who has that much extra money in their bank account that would be WILLING to pay up front for some of this guys bad decisions?? Mmm.. No thanks. So we thought we were kissing the house good-bye. I kept saying to Jason that if this house didn't go through, dealing with ANOTHER ridiculous situation, that God was telling us that we shouldn't buy a house right now... So I stopped looking at Pinterest. It was too depressing.

Around the beginning of June I got the most wonderful phone call. Our offer had been accepted by the bank! From February 10th (my birthday, when the seller himself accepted our offer) to June we had to bite our fingernails and patiently wait. What a good Abba Daddy we have! He even gives us birthday presents! He gave me my birthday wish this year; to get a house. ON my birthday! I just had to wait to unwrap it. And people say God doesn't have a sense of humor...

I won't go through all of the other painful things we went though because basically, I want to forget them.  All that matters is my prayers were answered, just not in my time. Obviously there was a reason for that and for everything we had to go through. I am so excited to start out on this new path in our journey. I couldn't imagine doing it with anyone else besides Jason. I'm so thankful he is wanting to be involved and not making me have the strenuous job of deciding paint colors.. ugh... I've been glued to Pinterest and Houzz to get ideas for my new canvas :).

So this has once again been a dramatic tale of the McClearen's adventure through life. We are certainly making many memories and gaining wisdom to pass along to our offsprings. But I wouldn't have it any other way. We are growing together so much, dealing with weird housing situations, to new job opportunities. Some that we have to turn away and trust that we are following God's path. As our favorite verse says that still hangs above Jeremiah's bassinet : "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."-Jeremiah 29:11. This is definitely the verse the defines our life.

2012 Great Strides: Taking Steps to Cure Cystic Fibrosis--Let the fundraising commence!

This is our first experience in the community with the CF foundation! I'm super excited. On June 2nd team "Miles for Miah", in honor of my baby boy Jeremiah, will be participating in the Great Strides 2012 walk. Ironically it is Jason's home town, Port Huron, MI. 

So a little bit on the Great Strides walk... This is a direct quote pulled from the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation's webiste: Great Strides: Taking Steps to Cure Cystic Fibrosis is the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation's largest national fundraising event. Tens of thousands of co-workers, friends and family come together each year as one community for one cause…to help find a cure for CF. In 2011, nearly $38 million was raised to support vital CF programs.

And here is a video to give a visual of what we're going to be doing...

Amazing right?? How can I not have hope when there are such astounding strides (pun intended ha) happening? The CFF has paved a way and been a model for other foundations dealing with fundraising and support.

So why donate? It's because of people like you that developments are achieved! Just this year the FDA put a new drug out on the market called Kalydeco. This drug treats the underlying common cause for Cystic Fibrosis in certain gene mutations! This is a HUGE step toward finding a cure. It gives me so much hope that by the time Jeremiah is of age when he can take most of the treatment drugs, that the cure could be there. This gives us 6 years people. In the grand scheme of things, this is not a long period of time.

If you are interested in supporting Miles for Miah, it is crazy easy to donate. Below is a link to my page on the cff.org/greatstides website (which is how you can get to it if the link doesn't work). Just click on "Click to donate", put in your info, and the amount and WAMMO! You've just helped out finding a cure for not only my sweet boy but for 30,000 other people as well. If you're a business or know of a business who would like to sponsor our team and get the logo onto our t-shirt, that my sisters business Solum Graphics is creating, please let me know A.S.A.P. We need to get the shirt design in within the next couple of days. If you would like to purchase a shirt, I'll be able to get info to you as well as soon as I get the quote.

Here is my link:
http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/dsp_DonationPage.cfm?walkid=7793&idUser=560505

 I'm excited to meet all the teams and people there that are also affected by Cystic Fibrosis. Although this is a fairly rare disease, I am astounded at how many people know someone who has been affected by it. It gives me great comfort to know that we are not alone in this journey.

If you feel that other people would be willing to help us in this amazing cause, please pass on this website. I am totally new into this world and I want to do all that I can. I would appreciate all the help I can get! Help us in turning CF into Cure Found. Thanks all and God bless! He is so good!!

Curveball in routine

At least this post won't be as heavy as the last... 

Our little man is doing great!! And that's what he truly is; a little man. I have never seen such maturity in an infant before. Everything that we're throwing at this kid, he does it with full trust in us. 

Yesterday we went in to have our monthly checkup at the CF clinic. The people there are so great by the way. They are all filled with passion for their research. It's so refreshing to have them be so personally involved with us. They make us feel like Jeremiah is their one and only client (far from the truth). They smile when we smile, they cry when we cry. Even though it's for an unfortunate situation, they make it so much easier. I'll sing their praises all day... Anyways, getting back... When Dr. Thompson listened to his lungs, I was sweating bullets. She carefully checked them (I was hoping she could hear them properly over my child screaming his face off) and my heart leapt when she announced that they were clear!! Praise the Lord! Of course this could change at any time (prayerfully not for a looooong time) but I'm praising in the fact that we made it through at least one month without them getting gucky. That's the only way I can manage all this, taking it one month at a time, not thinking about the far off future, and praising in all areas. Big or small. 

So our little boy is healthy for the meantime! *wipe brow here* The only thing that was of concern was his weight. (Told you this kid was screwed with parents like us..) He has a steady weight gain, just not fast enough for them. They told us that we needed to start supplementing him on formula AFTER he breast feeds. Luckily, the day before I tried him on a bottle with "mommy juice" and he did great with it! With everything else that he's had to do, I was confident that he would take the formula. 

The first time I gave him the formula I wish I had video taped it. What expressions this guy has! He just looked at me like I was crazy. (I guess I need to get used to that look when he turns teenager...) He would take a careful slow taste, shudder, and give me his stink eye. He was not a fan... But I remembered this little guy likes everything above normal warmth. So after a tad warm up, he ate 1.5 oz of formula after my (assuming) 2 oz. Not bad. Not bad at all. Like I said, this kid is a champ. 

The hardest thing for me with having to give him formula is facing the fact that my body isn't providing. It isn't providing enough of what my baby needs. I know this is an abnormal situation and if he was "normal" (whatever that is) then it probably wouldn't be an issue, but I don't like having to go superficial. With hormones raging it makes me feel inadequate. Not looking for sympathy here but I now understand how mothers feel when they cannot breast feed. It's a struggle! Tell you what though, I'm reading every tip out there to get my body up and running for this challenge! If anyone has any themselves, pleeeaase let me know the secrets! 

So now our schedule in the morning consists of: enzymes-salt-applesauce spoonfuls, breast feed, bottle feed, diaper change, nebulizer with albuterol, chest percussions, sleep for a second, start all over. (minus nebulizer and chest PT) Yes, when Jason gets home at 2:30 pm he see me still in my P.J's and house still untouched. But this wonderful man continually tells me that he doesn't care in the least that I am not a "Martha Stewart wife". As much as I love her style and organization, I have a long way to go. 

One of the things I have learned about myself is I do not like cleaning during the day, but I actually enjoy it more at night. I find myself cleaning the sink right and hurriedly cleaning up small clutter messes before I jump in bed. Go figure. Whatever works I guess?? So if you come over and find my abode in less than tip top shape (which is pretty normal) I will more than likely be cleaning it that night. Sorry if you miss that small window of cleanliness... This woman is still getting her weird routine toned up (and a baby trained to hang out by himself for a bit without sirens sounding). I am confident it will get together...sometime... In the meantime, I will probably not be hosting many tea parties with the Queen. 

Some images of our continuing journey

He does not like the cold

Naps better in a queen bed up at Oma's then anywhere else. He has sophisticated taste... 

After the visit to the CF Clinic. Jason and I treat ourselves to Smash Burger each time to give us something to look forward to

He's a ham already

Dad's first time feeding!!

Playing The Cards That Are Dealt To You...

I'm not even sure how to even begin this post... Well, things have changed. A couple weeks ago I received a call from Jeremiah's pediatricians office saying that they had a notice from the Helen DeVos Children's Hospital saying that Jeremiah needed to be brought in for tests. They asked me if I knew anything about it, which I didn't. The nurse told me that the pediatrician would be contacting me with more information.

He finally called back that night (amazing man even called me after office hours! I was impressed) saying that Jeremiah's infant screening test came back with a mutated gene for Cystic Fibrosis. He told me not to worry because to actually have CF you have to have two mutated genes. At the moment it looked like he was just a carrier for CF, which is pretty common. 1 out of 25 people are carriers for CF and 1 in 3,000 people are diagnosed with it. 90% chance was he didn't have it, but they needed to see him to be sure. So Friday morning we had an appointment at the Children's Hospital for a sweat test to measure his sodium chloride.

The sweat test was basically two electrode stimulators hooked up to Jeremiah's arms for five minutes (on each side) and 30 minutes bundle tight against Mom to provoke enough sweat to test. The first side he hated, but we figured he was probably hungry and this boy hates to be cold. As soon as the littlest draft hits his skin, all hell breaks loose. Bundle him up and he's right as rain. I blame it on my bad circulation and Jason's lack of fat. This kid is screwed...

After the sweat test we met with the genetics specialist to get a family background. There is absolutely no CF known to be present on either side so we figured that someone on whichever side has to be a carrier...somewhere... If the tests came back as negative Jason and I would have to get tested to see which one of us is the carrier. If we were both carriers, each of our children had a 50% chance of being carriers and a 25% chance of having CF. Also, our siblings would probably have to get tested as well. The inheritance lecture is a lengthy and a somewhat confusing one... I'll spare some of the details for now...

We had to wait an hour and a half to get the results back from the sweat test. We met with nurses and took Jeremiah's vitals, which to me seemed pointless because we were being told there was a 90% chance he didn't have it. All these vitals were just making my kid cry. I was counting down till we could leave. Finally the Doctor came in. The lady had the most soothing and sympathetic voice. You could tell she was just the nicest thing. Nothing was setting off warning bells to me. I was all smiles.

She sat down next to me and started explaining the numbers of the sodium chloride levels. Anything below 30 and he was fine. Anything above 60 and 99.9% chance he had it. Anything in between and they had to do more tests. She told me that my sweet little boys number was 108... 108......... 108.................. 108..............

Even now that I've had time to process everything, it still seems surreal. The number still catches in my throat every time I have to say it. I couldn't imagine that this perfect creature that I was holding had a life threatening, incurable disease.

Cystic Fibrosis is a genetically inherited condition that effects many organs in the body. Mostly the lungs. Everyone is born with mucus in their lungs, people with CF have a protein that basically thickens the mucus, making it hard to get rid of. Over time it will become worse. (I am trying to explain this the best way I know... I'm still learning everything :/. If something is incorrect I apologize... I didn't really have an idea of what CF was up until 2 weeks ago...) It also effects the digestive system. 90% of people with CF (or so I am told) are pancreatic insufficient, meaning they cannot absorb the nutrients in their food. They have to take enzymes to help with the absorption. Also, CF patients need excess salt. They are known to sweat at higher levels and lose larger amounts of sodium (hence, the sodium chloride test).

In the recent years, many breakthroughs have occurred. There are multiple anti-biotics and medicines to help break up the mucus making the disease easier to handle. Caught early enough and the results are even better for less hospital visits and longer duration of life. Many years back a person with CF usually didn't make it past teenage years. Now, the average age is 36. There are many cases where people are lasting long into their old age, with the numbers growing each year. The disease is livable, but still very serious...

With the new technology, Jeremiah's CF was able to be caught in the earliest stages, before any symptoms and mucus could build up. He has been put on enzymes which are fed to him with applesauce which is by far the weirdest things I have ever done; spoon feed applesauce to a newborn. It's salty applesauce too, since he needs 1/8 tsp of salt a day. He has been put on a nebulizer with albuterol twice a day, followed along with chest percussions (a little foam plunger that we have to lightly thump on his shoulders, back, chest and sides). The last thing he needs is a dropper of multi-vitamin. All for a newborn... Whew...

Everything right now in this stage is precautionary. He has no symptoms as of yet. In fact, this kid has some of the healthiest lungs I've ever heard... He takes his medications like a champ too. Before each feeding we have to give him his enzymes and he now knows how to eat off a spoon. He doesn't spit it out either. Not on purpose anyways. He loves his multi-vitamin. He smacks his lips with great force and swallows every drop. I think he looks for more...
Jason and I trade with the chest percussions and nebulizer treatment. I take morning shifts, Jason has before bed. Jeremiah just sits there with the mouth piece (looks like an oxygen mask) hovering above him with mist pouring into his airways. This is the hardest thing for me... Anything that is small and helpless dealing with a burden beyond their knowledge always makes my heart ache. This is nothing short of heartbreaking when I see him staring at me with his famous concerning look. And he just takes it. Doesn't cry. Doesn't whine.

My strong little man...

God has dealt us these cards for a reason. We were (and still are) praying for a miraculous healing so our baby boy can grow up without this burden over his head. We know God can heal him at anytime if it's his will. We also know that this might be where he wants us in life, in the CF community to be a light unto the people that might not be taking it as well. Or people in general that might not be handling their "deck of cards". I question where this is all leading to in life, but I'm NOT questioning that God knows what he's doing 100%, and he chose us for a reason. He has our best interest at heart. As our favorite verse that we have adopted says "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" --Jeremiah 29:11. I had heard this verse many times before, and I had in mind even before Jeremiah was born that we would put this verse over his crib as a spoken blessing upon him. Especially since it has his name. I had no idea that we would be depending on this verse so fervently.

Each day I get through by the prayers from our wonderful friends and family. I couldn't be functioning so calmly without them. God is teaching me so much through all of this. I honestly have never felt closer to him. I surprise myself with how well I am handling this tough transition. So much so that when I do have a bad day and I can't stop crying, I have to remind myself that it's Ok to feel those emotions. It doesn't mean I trust God any less. Jason has been great too. Not only does he have to learn how to be a Dad and handle a new baby, but a Dad with a new baby with a rare condition. Being a nanny and an aunt of three, I know my way around a baby. But even I find myself second guessing everything because I don't know what a child with CF is like. We are both in for a very educational experience. And we are taking it one day at a time.

There is so much hope out there with all the medical breakthroughs that there could be a cure in a few years, or a medicine that basically makes it invisible. Jason and I do not look at the numbers of average age of death. Heck, the rapture could happen tomorrow for all I know.  If this is where I'm supposed to be, I'm going to take it for all it's worth and keep on smiling. I will not have the devil bring me down because of this hiccup. I want to look at it as a blessing. My child could've been diagnosed with something much worse than CF. (I mean come on, this kid has to be on a high-fat diet when he gets older... Milkshakes and cookies anyone? Don't feel sorry for MY kid...) I am happy that he is as healthy as he is. Praise the Lord!

Also, another praise, we had to get a pancreatic test to see if he was pancreatic sufficient or not. Anything above 100 says that it's normal. My boy's test came back as 237! They said they like to see it within the 300-400 range, but it's NORMAL! 10% of CF patients have properly working pancreas'. He's still on enzymes until his weight gain comes up (which probably won't happen too fast if you've ever seen his father...) and in a month they might do another test to be sure, but I am praising God all the same that we have that glimmer of hope in our horizons! He will never give us more than we can handle. He is an amazing Father.

Thank you for your prayers! We still need them so keep 'em coming! I'll be keeping you updated...
God Bless!

Jeremiah David McClearen=The Love of our Life

He is finally here!!! After months of feeling the most foreign kicks, flips and flutters I am able to look into the most precious face and hold him till my hearts content! The feeling is indescribable, knowing that this being is a perfect part of both Jason and I. Cliche? Yes.. Do I care? NO! 


Now, would you like to hear how this little guy got here? It is quite a story. But as I've stated, it wouldn't be a "Jason and Kate" story without a little drama and white knuckles. Here it goes....


Friday March 16th: After months of discussing it, Jason and I (at the helpful push of my mother) decided it was time to get our pup Eli fixed. We wanted him to be as calm and collected as possible with a baby coming. I call C-Snip (a low priced "fix-em" place with all professional "fixers") to schedule the appt. for Monday March 19th. But "due to the overwhelming amount of calls, C-snip will get back to me on a definite date." Whatever... 


Sunday March 18th: Having contractions in church. Nothing too concerning. More annoying and feeling a need to go...to...the...bathroom... Getting through it. They continue spontaneously through the day. Signs of him coming? I'm in denial...


Monday March 19th: Feeling great! No contractions what-so-ever. Maybe two little ones. Eh. He's not coming soon. Get a call from C-Snip. "Sorry we weren't able to schedule your dog for today, but we do have a space open tomorrow. Would you like to make an appt?" 
"Well, sure"-- As I said, I felt great. None the wiser of what was coming. So at 8am the next morning we had to drop off Eli. Monday night though, I started getting reluctant about going through with it. I was terrified it would change my dog and he wouldn't want to snuggle with me. J and mom calmed my nerves and the decision was made. 8 am I would have to say goodbye to my "ol' young pup" and hello to a question mark of a dog. Nervous.....


Tuesday March 20th: Wake up. On to C-snip. Line out the door and around the corner with people waiting to get their pets snip-snipped. Half hour wait... 


Around 12pm March 20th, I started having contractions. Nothing big at first, just little twinges. I make a couple comments to my mom about them. Asking questions about when they become the "real thing". All my mother says is "Oh, you'll know..." DUN DUN DUUUUN.


1:30ish pm, contractions start becoming more consistent, longer and more intense. Mom is noticing the difference and starts logging it. Smart woman, my mother.


2 something pm, even more than before. Mom suggests I should call my mid-wife. I follow orders. Mid-wife says to take a hot bath and see if the contractions sub-side and if after I get out, are they still as consistent. I follow orders. Off to the bath I go. Contractions subside. 


It's getting closer to 4, which is when we need to pick up Eli. I wouldn't hear of not going. So me and my stubborn self get ready quickly, hop in the car with Mom and J and head to C-snip. Along the way, more....contractions... arrive....only this time.....stronger.


4:00 pm, We arrive at C-snip to see a crowd of people waiting for their dogs as well. There is a speech being given about how to manage your pet when you take them home. What to do, what not to do. My contractions are still going strong and taking numbers. I'm trying to breathe. All I can think about is getting my dog... I get the papers in my hand. Any minute and I can leave!! Mom goes and pulls up the car. "Man, the people are slow", I complain to myself, even though the people were probably quite prompt. Another contraction starts. This one is taking my breath away... I grab ahold of Jason's arm and squeeze. He turns and looks at me. "Are you alright?" he asks. Before I can even answer, I feel a big ol' POP and WOOOOOOSH and gross, slimy wet. My water had just broken.... I run to my mom who had just parked. I'm crying because I'm not sure who just witnessed this rare scene, I want my dog, and my contraction is still going strong. And I realize, this is actually happening. I am about to become a mother. My emotions start playing with me and a little demon gets in my head, filling the space with self doubt. I do my best to push it away, thinking to myself that millions of women do this every day. I surely can uphold my "womely-ness" and push out this bowling ball. 


As I'm sitting on the conveniently placed dog-blanket we had in my moms car, Mom goes and tell Jason what had happened, explaining that we need to get Eli pronto and head off to the hospital. While this is happening, I make calls. I'm trying to get a hold of the dog-sitters, my sister, my mid-wife and my friends to let them know that its show-time. Contractions are coming every minute it feels. Inside the office Jason goes up to the head nurse and tells her, "my wife's water has just broken, I need my dog. His name is Eli." Her eyes bug out and she runs off in search of our pup. Everyone around Jason is stating to him "Oh my goodness! You're going to the hospital!!" --Why thank you for that obvious statement. We weren't sure where to go in this situation.....


The nurse comes out in a state of near panic and announces that they do not have an "Eli". Mom jumps in and states "How 'bout Elijah?" --"Oh yea! We have Elijah!"... Tight shift 'round them parts... 


Eli bounds out of the office, not-so-gracefully jumps into the car and we are off. We decide we have enough time to drop Eli off at home and grab our bag (that I had just packed about 3 hours before hand). I am feeling that I am the worst mother at this time, dropping my recently neutered canine off at home and basically saying "Sayonara! Good luck with the stitches!" 


On the way to the hospital, the contractions and the feeling of desperately needing to visit the little girls room continues to grow. Along with the ever leaking water-breakage. Yes girls, this stuff doesn't just break politely and leave you alone. It is there for you, making you feel on a whole other level highly and involuntarily uncomfortable... Lovely, right? I tell my mom that I really feel like I need to go to the bathroom. A look of desperation sweeps across my mothers face and she shouts "DON'T PUSH! Whatever you do, don't push!!" 


At 5:15 pm I am admitted and transported upstairs to labor and delivery triage. I tell them eagerly that I will be wanting the drugs A.S.A.P. I am fearing that I might have missed my window. 


With a sigh of relief I am told that I am only dilated to 4. Even though I was in pain, I did enjoy the fact that all I had to do was lay on a gurney as people did all the work transporting me. Too bad my contractions got in the way of feeling the bliss fully. 


In the delivery room they hooked me up to all sorts of machines, making me look like a high tech stereo system. I was still having heavy contractions back to back. Mom and Jason saw that they were I guess "off the charts". Have to be honest... Made me feel a little better that I was handling the pain as well as I was with "off the chart" contractions. It gave me strength to endure more, knowing that this was as bad as it was going to get. 


To get an epidural, you have to have a liter of fluid pumped into you. To a woman in labor, this takes roughly about.. oh....eternity. By the time it took to get that fluid in me, the nurse was stating that she might need to check me again, due to how many and how intense my contractions were. I looked at her and said "Ignorance is bliss. I would like my drugs before you check me, thank you. I've heard of people missing their chances and that's not happening to me."  A few minutes later, my legs felt heavy and my uterus was singing praises. Halle-friggen-lujah. 


Everyone is familiar with the phrase "time flies when you're having fun", time also flies when you're about to become a mother. I could've sworn that it was only a minute or two after the drugs kicked in that they were pulling the huge, intimidating lamp from the ceiling. "We're getting you ready to push!" they told me. Ummm... Hold on... Don't I have a couple more weeks of this? Nope, I was 10 cm...


My mid-wife arrived, all smiles and bright eyed. As soon as she got there, the action happened. Jason and Mom hadn't left my side. My sister arrived about an hour before hand. Everyone was here. We had talked about who I wanted in the room. Jason, of course, and I had asked my sister to be there to help coach me. She had already done this 3 times, the ol' pro! I also decided to have my mom in there. She had been with me through this whole thing, and I felt like she more than deserved to watch the birth of her first grandson. I am beyond happy that I made that last minute decision. Plus, she had never watched a birth, just went through it twice. I figured it would be a cool learning experience. (Side note, even I decided to watch it with the help of a mirror. Way cool! For all you girls who don't get queasy, I totally recommend it. It helps you see what you need to do while witnessing the birth of your kid. Might as well see it to the end right?? I also have watched two births so I knew what was coming...)


I don't know the exact time that I started pushing but it went by pretty fast. I might have been pushing for maybe 20 minutes when my mid-wife told me I needed to stop because they had to call neo-natal up. (There was meconium in the water, meaning Jeremiah had pooed.) Neo-natal had to come make sure he was cleared of all of it when he popped out. Well, the call to neo-natal decided not to go through for about 5 min. And then it took another couple minutes for them to get there. I'm just chilling with a head about to emerge and forced not to push.. Awesome. 


9:30 pm March 20th 2012, Neo-natal arrives. They stepped in announced "we're here", Brenda (my mid-wife) says "ok you can push!" and voila! In one more forceful push, he vaulted out. Literally... Brenda had to play catcher as the fast-ball catapulted at her, with all the slitheryness that comes on a newborn. I then heard the most beautiful noise. My baby boy shrieking. I was told this was a good sign and he probably didn't get any meconium in his system. Praise the Lord! 


Jeremiah David McClearen was born at 9:32 pm on Tuesday, March 20th 2012. He was 19 1/2 in long and weighed 7 lbs 10 oz. He scored an 8 and 9 on his APGAR test. The picture of health :) We have been completely blessed through this entire pregnancy. I couldn't have asked for a smoother, faster delivery. God is so good to us! We had so many people praying for us. We are so appreciative and thankful for each and everyone of them. You all know who you are :) We couldn't have done it without you. 


I know people always say that you are filled with this overwhelming sense of love when you have a child. Totally true and totally indescribable. All I know is that we have a perfect little boy that makes our hearts burst and swell. 


We are happily adjusting to our new life. We are learning his signals and what his different cries are. For the past two nights he has only woken up once through the night. Yes, this might be a fluke, or short lived. But I am simply thankful that I have had those two lovely nights of fulfilled sleep. God is also blessing us with this since Jason has to wake up at 5 am. We are praying that it continues. No negative comments please about how this will most likely not happen. Like I said "Ignorance is bliss" and I am willing to learn and sacrifice. God is in control. 


Well, I hope you all enjoyed this "book" of how our little bundle graced us with his presence. I apologize if some of you find this outspoken. But I'm not that sorry because there are several of issues of pregnancy that are taboo. So depending on if you wanted to know it or not, above is the blunt truth. It was your choice to finish it :) 


I wish I would've blogged more during the pregnancy because I'm afraid I'm going to forget a lot. This was primarily created so that I could go back and remember. I guess I should start a notebook before the memories fade... 


Here are some pictures taken by my sister Sarah Davis, myself and even a couple from Jason

  He came out practically smiling

My favorite :) (Thanks Sarah!)

How I feed...

Ducky vase. So cute right?

One day old

One of our favorite nurses

Going home outfit

At home and at peace

Ok, I might be a little biased but I think he's pretty stinking cute... 


Until next time!   
~Kate and Jason 

Our Ace is on the way! [11 weeks]

Wow... So much has changed... I can't believe we're going to be parents!

These are the memories I want to remember during my special adventure to Mommyhood. What a wonderful place, I've heard.

11 weeks being pregnant. It's been a journey so far. I had a feeling that I was from the get-go but I kept trying to convince myself that I was freaking myself out and that there was nothing to worry about. Then symptoms started popping up... After a while I couldn't take it anymore. While I was down at Sarah and Ryan's, she decided that I NEEDED to take a pregnancy test.

I couldn't do it... There was no way I was peeing on a stick and waiting for a plus or minus sign and trying to figure out my feelings in the meantime. I couldn't do it. So what does any good sister do? She decides she'll take it for me. All I needed to provide was the liquid. So I grabbed a dixie cup...

45 long seconds later we found out we were going to be parents! Woah, 45 seconds is a short time to find out something so life changing.  I immediately started crying.  I couldn't believe I was old enough for this and that soon enough I was going to have something just as sweet as the children already in my life. My big sister ran to me, hugged me and then threw me in the arms of Jason (who had been dancing and jumping... He doesn't have to push a watermelon through a Twizzlers). We were both dizzy from feeling every emotion know to our brain neurons.

We told parents and close friends.  We knew we needed to keep quite just because of how early I was in the pregnancy. I felt like the more people I told, the more I was jinxing myself. I kept worrying that it was a fluke or something bad was going to happen. I was almost convincing myself not to get attached to the idea too much because it might not last. It was a horrible feeling. When I would take a bath, I would put my ears underwater to try to see if I could somehow hear the baby's heartbeat. I just needed something to make it real. Definite real.

What did give me comfort, ironically enough, was how nauseous I was. Man, anything would set me off. Smells (and boy did I turn on spidey-senses for smells..), thoughts of food (especially bacon and BLT's..ugh I still can't take it), and strangely enough, crocheting. I couldn't crochet! I was talking to a friend and we figured out that it was association. I got nauseous one time I was crocheting and sub-consciously I would remember that every time I thought of crocheting. Even T.V shows and photo editing did that to me. No one told me these things! I still can't crochet... I'm hoping this kid eases up on me... soon.

So far, I've only had a couple meltdowns. I would get so tired I would just cry. I know that it's because of "raging hormones" or whatever, yes that plays a big part, but holy crap... Fatigue was my middle name. I didn't feel like myself. I couldn't do anything. It bugged me. But after I would have a good cry, and a restless nights sleep (yes, restless), I would feel totally better the next day. Now that I'm 11 weeks my energy is coming back up...slowly... and I don't get nauseous AS much, but just as intense. Not only am I almost over the hump of possible danger, I'm getting closer to being done with the sickies.
Can. Not. Wait.

Yesterday, I finally got my answer to prayer. We heard Ace's heartbeat! I went in for my first Dr.'s appt. thinking I was could only talk to a nurse and do the paperwork, when they led me back for my Dr. to come in and do a heart check! She told me if I didn't hear it, not to panic. Sure Doc... She squirted my belly with goo and started moving the stick around. Silence was heard for eternity (= 30-45 seconds), when softly we heard the quick moving whomp-whomping of the blessed little heart. Our Ace's heart. Instant. Flood. Of. Sweet. Relief.

Thank you God.

What a miracle a little whomping can be.